Wheelbarrow Yoga Anyone?

Calling all Yoga Enthusiasts!  Wheelbarrow Yoga FREE this weekend!   Join us for a free session 10-noon this Saturday only.  First come first served.  Includes Bharadvaja’s twist (filling wheelbarrows with dirt), deep Malasana pose (digging dirt) along with weight bearing exercises (emptying wheelbarrow).  Your choice of wheelbarrow color & shovel size.   Session bound to fill up soon, ACT FAST!

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Stop Locking Your Love On Bridges 

I have an unreasonable fear of bridges.
This includes bridge like structures such As the Eiffel Tower; which G points out stress cracks and rusty bolts holding thousands of tourists a day.  It’s like Gabriel Iglesias says about when a 400 pound person is getting on an elevator and we begin to calculate weights of the passengers.

This is how I see it.

The Navajo Bridge is now abandoned to cars which does not make me feel safer. I know that engineers spend their lives calculating the weights and measures on these projects. That’s why I started this by saying my fear is unreasonable.  Now this bridge is an attraction to take pictures like this:

and this:

I realize I am about half way and think I can always jump to the emerald water below if the bridge under my feet gives way.  The heros of ALL action movies hang on to the correct piece of rope/wood/steel and swing to safety.  Only bad guys fall to their deaths.  Then I see this sign which makes me question everything.

Perhaps the jump isn’t survivable so I hold on tightly to the rail and distract myself with the locks couples put on bridges now as a symbol of their love.  I do NOT want to put a love lock on the bridge because the engineers didn’t plan on that extra weight did they lovers?

Holding onto the rail I find this etched from 2010.

I know there is a story here so I Google the name.  Good to know he survived.

 

 

 

 

 

Crack Wine

Leaving on Friday my  co-workers are discussing plans. CW 1- “I’m just going home.”       CW-2 “I’m going to go home and change my clothes and”….something about doing work on a Friday night…(I zone out a little) Suddenly silent I realize it’s my turn and I say all nonchalantly “I’m going to the Liquor Store.”  Which I do.  This is why:

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This is  a wine cabinet I made out of some old barn wood, clay roof tiles, & wrot iron I found.

I have a plan to fill my empty wine cabinet & am truly amazed that I can’t find a parking spot at Total Wine. (My brother calls it “Totally Wine” which is adorable).  With all the cars and people  I am thiking there must be an event! Perhaps a sale!!  Nope.  Just a random Friday.  Most of the people here are over 65 pushing carts full of booze loaded up  for the weekend.  (I blame hours of retirement time listening to recent news reports).

I have a few favorites and it just so happens they are ALL on the bottom shelf CAUSING ME TO BEND OVER.  Once I was home I realized this little gem:

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This is a picture of my split ass pants as shown to the entire world today. Gary says this picture is the opposite of a “facie” (which is what he calls selfies).

 

 

 

 

Yep, I flashed an aisle full of people my shredded ass black pants with my white undies shining through.  How did this even happen?  Wait… don’t answer. In any case I filled up my wine cabinet with a few of my favorites:

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I feel complete again.

Talking Boobs

While standing in a long  grocery store line I point out this tag line on a magazine cover to G. He says “If your boobs could talk we’d be RICH!

With my luck my boobs would be sarcastic, kind of like Triumph the insult comic dog, but with boobs. Nobody wants sarcastic boobies. I forgot what magazine it was so I googled it. The astonishing result of my partial entry below.  (It struck me that one of those lines is different from the others; like a Sesame Street song).

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Apparently I am polishing off 2016 with the mentally of an 8th grade boy.

Teddy Bear Guy & Other Annoyances

Last evening I stopped at a crowded grocery store with very long lines. The shoppers in the “10 items or less line” had spilled across the only aisle that crosses the  front of the store creating a blockade.  A tall young man wearing mirrored aviator sunglasses & earbuds was standing near the end of the line & was also holding a giant teddy bear. He had his face, well mostly his lips, pressed against Teddy’s furry nose. I maneuvered across  the line which was difficult as neither Teddy lover nor the shopper in front of him moved an inch. Uuhhhgh.  I was tired and now I’m  irritated that they didn’t part and make a courtesy space required for others to get through. A few minutes later I was ready to checkout & happy the line had reduced to 3 people. The universe was not finished getting my attention as the first customer couldn’t get her credit card to work & the next woman wrote a check. A Check.  The last guy wants cigarettes that the store doesn’t carry anymore. We all find this out together after the (more tired than I was) cashier conducts a thorough search behind the customer service desk. Finally my turn and I am released back out to the world. As I drive off toward a beautiful sunset I notice Teddy Bear Man walking along the side of the road.  He’s still wearing aviators & carrying his giant bear. NOW I notice he is sweeping a white  cane  with  a red tip back and forth. Awwww DAMmit. Teddy Bear guy is awesome. Oh &  brave like I can’t imagine.

Laughable Affable

Banks are way to flippin’ friendly lately. Somehow I ended up joining  in and embarrassing myself. (Again).  The  teller had her eyes waaaay to wide open, eyebrows up high above her glasses wrinkling her forehead, big jack o’ lantern smile. Her smile stretched so big I truly thought she was trying to send me subliminal messages. Such as- “Get help, this isn’t my real smile.”  After a few minutes the smile turned a little strained so I imagined the following- “I just passed gas behind this bullet proof glass and hope it doesn’t escape through the little speak hole.”Which made me laugh a little.   It was fascinating to watch and you know when someone has an accent and you start speaking the same way… Well,  I am finished with my transaction and say “have a nice day” opening my eyes wide and big ol’ smile. She was not amused.  sheldon