Friendships- The Rewrite

So the reflection of this year I am CELEBRATING the “ride or die’ crew.  Celebrate their love for each other.  Celebrate how no matter when things get bad, good, great, horrible, sad, fun that we are traveling together.  I want to SHOUT how wonderful they are!  Our TRIBE.

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I often re-read books  but none more valuable to me as The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes.  I have shared and gifted this book over and over again.  She reached me in such a positive way.  There are layers in this book.  Each time I read I take away something different.  Today I am in a reflection of the past year and my attention is on her writing of her friendships.  Her “ride or die crew”.   Suddenly my eyes are opened by her description of a friend she deems as becoming more toxic.  To paraphrase; the author slowly realizes that she was being manipulated by this friend.  As she became healthier she realized she had actually created the friend’s kind persona. She described the sloth-like awakening to the real personality perfectly. I experienced something similar a few years ago it rang true to me today like a bell.

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I had the same experience and was truly devastated by the cruelty of a friend. Like Shonda I had manufactured the reciprocal  friendship.  Their manipulation & betrayal  happened during a very bad year.  The year of the Smackdown.  The year I longed for  support. The year I almost lost G to a bizarre disease. I saw the friend as they truly were.  As G always said they were and I denied.  It is now my favorite year as I found my TRUE “Ride or Die” crew.

There are people in our lives that become family.  Our tribe. After that experience I check myself.  Not for the fake friends because we can always be fooled.  No, I now make SURE I am not rewriting the personality of the friend.  That I stand up to those who are manipulating. It’s more honest. It’s more painful.  It’s more joyous.
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My experience was the toxic don’t go quietly.  To survive them is an accomplishment.

We are all part of a Tribe.  We find each other randomly and become like family.  I may not even see my fellow tribesman for years but when we meet it’s like we were never apart.   To those beautiful, funny,loving, crazy people in my life who I would “ride or die” with; you are loved beyond measure.

 

 

 

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